“You About To Lose Your Job” Becomes The Official Theme Song For Many Who Stormed Capitol Hill

The unemployment rate will increase by hundreds after a riotous horde stormed Capitol Hill last week. Despite cameras being everywhere and facial recognition technology, many thought it was a good idea to breech a government building, steal, ramshackle and even spread feces throughout. All while on camera. One participant asked not to be identified because he feared he’d lose his job spoke to The Urban Beet:

“I didn’t think we’d get in any trouble. I can’t afford to lose my job as a third grade teacher at MLK Elementary in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’ve been teaching there for five years and just bought a new Ford Fusion. I was wearing a hat, bandana and sunglasses so I don’t think I will be identified.”

Many who went along with “When the looting starts, the shooting starts” during BLM protests over the summer seemed baffled that they are being arrested and charged with crimes. Another participant who asked not to be identified spoke with us before returning a White Chevy Malibu plate R-23451 to Hertz:

“I didn’t know that it was against the law for patriots to break the law. We’re patriots, if we’re doing it, it’s for the good of the entire country that we consider to be real Americans.”

When told that many in the crowd would be arrested and/or lose their jobs, one supporter of the Inciter In Chief said “See? All of those jobs will need to be filled. Trump keeps finding ways to create jobs. How could anyone vote against him?”

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He is also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.