After 2020 The Most Popular Resolution is “To See How I Feel In The Morning Before Making A Commitment To Anything”

After the year of maggot feces that 2020 was, many are not making traditional New Year resolutions. Tired, bored, brokenhearted and broke few see the point. Curtis Brown of Detroit, MI explained why he wasn’t making any:

“I had an entire list of goals for 2020 and then COVID hit. I didn’t make more money, I had to break up with my new girlfriend because she was a super spreader. She gave me crabs and COVID. I could have forgiven her for the crabs but spreading COVID means she don’t give a damn about nobody”

Many resolutions are simple with most making a commitment to just keep taking things day by day. Conchita Lopez of Bull Head City, AZ. was almost afraid to be optimistic.

“I used to get really excited for the new year. I’d make a list of how I was going to improve myself, be a better person. I’d say the new year was a time for rejuvenation and a renewed spirit to make things new, new possibilities. Now I’m just hoping to keep up my car payments in case I need it to live in. I’m taking things as the day goes. Ain’t nobody got time to have their heads in the clouds.”

Perhaps Shelia Dunbar of Decatur, GA. summed it up best.

“Make a New Year resolution? For who? For what? Can somebody promise me that there won’t be an alien invasion, or global swarm of locusts? Can we be sure that an asteroid won’t wipe out half the planet and the super volcano in Yellowstone erupts and take care of the rest? For all I know, we can experience super storms, nuclear holocaust and The Rapture all in the same week. I’d like to get in shape but I’m just going to see how I feel each morning before making a commitment to do anything”.

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He is also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.