Boats In Trump Boat Parade Were “Baptized & Accepted By Holy Ocean Water”

Boaters flying flags honoring U.S. President Donald Trump crowd Lake Travis in Lakeway, Texas, during a boat parade Saturday, Sept. 5, 2020, that attracted hundreds of watercraft of all sizes. Although this boat did not capsize, a spokesperson for the Travis County sheriff’s office in Texas said “several” boats sank Saturday while taking part in the parade in support of Trump. There were no reports of fatalities or injuries. (Bob Daemmrich via AP)

Supporters of President Donald Trump were thrilled when at least four boats sank during a boat parade. “The water, which was created by God accepted those boats” said Roger Chillingworth, who was aboard one of the capsized vessels. ” I wish the mainstream media would stop saying the boats capsized because they were actually Baptized. There was a time when water was used to determine if a person practiced witchcraft. If a person, floated on water, that meant the water was rejecting them because they served the devil. They would then be executed. If they sank to the bottom, God’s water had accepted them and they would go to heaven.”

Chillingworth said he was disappointed that the water hadn’t accepted him. “I didn’t drown which means I need to do better. I will keep trying. Those boasts sinking means that God’s holy ocean water approved of those boats. This is a good sign. It’s God’s way of telling us that by following Trump, we’re on a sinking ship and the water won’t reject us if we remain loyal to Trump”.

Author: theurbanbeetweekly