Pastor Removed After Giving A 4.5 Hour Sermon On Super Bowl Sunday

Pastor Jedediah Jackson of the Double Rock & Soul Baptist Church was removed from his position this morning. Members of his congregation were upset when he decided to hold a 4 1/2 hour sermon on Super Bowl Sunday. Sunday service starts at 11am but the Super Bowl airs at 3:30pm on the West Coast. Some members miss kickoff.

The Pastor told members they needed to get their priorities straight and stay until the sermon was over. Head Usher and octogenarian Sister Belinda Johnson, who doesn’t watch football, left after an hour and a half.

“No, I don’t care about the game. I get to drink all the Hennessy I want at my neighbors Super Bowl Party. They even let me take the leftover bottle home. Do you know how expensive Hennessy is? It would be a sin to miss out on that.”

The church musical director Antoine “Keep A Clappin” Smith said he tried to cue the Pastor to finish several times. “I played the organ cue to get him on to the part where he gets the folks jumpin’. He just kept going on and on.”

Most of the congregation walked out by 3pm. The only remaining parishioners were immediate family members who rode with him and had no other way home. His 11 year old son offered to use allowance money to pay for an Uber home. The Pastor became furious and went into a tirade. He justified his actions by saying Jesus overturned tables while driving merchants from the Temple. His 11 year old son quipped “Yeah, he drove people away because he went on too long.” It’s not known how long his son will be on punishment. Sources say the pastor was particularly upset because only family members were there to witness his tirade. Only a family member could have reported him to the deacons.

Sources for The Urban Beet would not confirm that it was the 11 year old son who informed the deacons. It probably was.

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He is also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.