Grandmother Says She’s Serving Popey’s Chicken Sandwiches for Thanksgiving

Macon, GA.- Mrs. Winnifred Shackelford has had enough of her family and the holidays. “Every year I spend three days preparing Thanksgiving dinner and don’t nobody ask if they can help. They come late, stay late and don’t bring nothing but bad kids and whoever they’re shacking up with this month.”

This year, Shackleford or “Mrs. Winni” as she’s known, is ordering 40 chicken sandwiches from Popeye’s and then calling it a day. “They can come get a sandwich, eat it here or I will wrap it up in wax paper and they can take it to go. I don’t care.” Mrs. Shackleford said she couldn’t tell us how sick and tired she is of her triflin’ relatives. “Do you know how it feels to spend damn near 72 hours preparing a meal, then folks show up late, put the food in a microwave then put ice in the pinot noir?”

When asked what she is thankful for this holiday, Mrs. Winni replied: “The only thing I’m thankful for is when they go home.”

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He is also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.