Tekashi 6ix9ine Tells Judge Who Shot Biggie, Tupac, JFK And What’s Area 51

In recent courtroom testimony rapper and bucket-that-can’t-hold-water Tekashi 6ix9ine told a judge that the chicken came before the egg. He also told the judge the following unsolicited information: What’s really wrong with Kanye. The identity of the Zodiac Killer. Why the chicken crossed the road. Why the Hulk couldn’t beat Thanos. Who the GOAT is between Kareem, Jordan & Lebron The location of the Fountain of Youth. How much wood a Woodchuck chucks. How many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

He gave up so much information, that the judge presiding over the case banged the gavel and said “That’s enough, folks want to go home! I need to catch up on Power and I’m sure you’re gonna tell that too.”

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He is also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.