“Human Man” Is Marvel’s Least Popular Comic Book For The 35th Consecutive Year.

Marvel Comics has reported that Human Man, it’s least popular superhero has once again sold the least amount of merchandise in the Marvel Comics Universe.

The hero relies  on powers of average human sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing and a $35,0000 annual income. Human Man sometimes loses criminals because his car broke down or didn’t have enough gas for a high speed car chase. In many issues, Human Man would have to beat the bad guys by calling the police on them. He occasionally has to ignore a crime altogether because the criminal is bigger than he us. Some crimes are missed entirely because he exceeded his data plan and wasn’t aware of a crime.

Creator Chris Lee is the 3rd cousin to Marvel legend Stan Lee. Stan hooked hooked him up with a job because he told his mama he would. Lee says he developed the character in 1983. He thought that an average hero without gimmicky superpowers would be a breath of fresh air. Human Man would bemore exciting than characters who could fly, command the elements, throw automobiles and save the world. He is an average citizen who routinely gets his ass handed to him by shoplifters, pickpockets and ticket scalpers standing outside of concerts.

“We’re just waiting for his time to come” Says Chris. “Kids these days don’t appreciate an average guy who can’t really do anything to affect the world around him. I believe that’s going to change.”

Human Man has appeared in every Marvel movie. The character is often seen crossing the street or looking on in amazement during a fight scene. Human Man has no lines or end of film credits.  Human Man sells an average of three comic books a year. It cannot be confirmed if Chris is the one buying them.

Author: John Moody

John B. Moody is a comedic performer, writer, and Executive Publisher of The Urban Beet. He is also hosts the Dear John Podcast. Please send questions, comments or marriage proposals to the email address he provided when you met.